She is on one week in three, and it took her about four years to notice what the other two weeks are.
Yvette does the Thursday thing and she is on the rota for two other things and she is, by the count of anybody in that building, one of the people who makes it work.
And she is fed. Properly. On the weeks she is carrying something she comes home full, and she has said for years that this is what serving does, and there is truth in it and she is not going to take it back.
It is the other two weeks she has finally looked at.
She used to describe them as rest. Then she used to describe them as a bit flat. And this spring, being honest at her own kitchen table on a Tuesday in a week she was not on, she used a different word, and the word was starving.
Not dramatic. Nobody would notice. She goes, she sings, she talks to people afterward and she means it.
She simply does not receive anything, and she has not for years, and she has covered it by being on the rota often enough that the gap never gets long enough to be alarming.
She is fifty-one.
And what came up at that table, and would not go down, is that she cannot remember the last time she was fed as a person rather than as a role. Somewhere in about two decades, being useful and being nourished fused, and now she can only take it in through the doing.
Which is fine, right up until the week she cannot do.
There will be a week she cannot do. She has watched it happen to two women older than her in that same building, and both of them said something in the weeks afterward that Yvette did not understand at the time and understands entirely now.
And you may know that rota. You may be fed on the weeks you are on, and you may have a word for the other weeks that you have been upgrading gently for years.
The bread is offered to a person, not to a function
Take this off before we go a step further, because you have carried it for two decades and it was never yours.
You are not fed for what you do. You never were. Scripture has Him offering Himself to anybody who eats, with no role attached anywhere in the sentence, and it is the Holy Spirit, not your usefulness, who does the feeding. Set it down here at the urn. It is heavy and it has been on your shoulder for years.
Now hear it, and hear who it is offered to.
I am the living bread that came down from heaven. Whoever eats this bread will live forever.John 6:51
Whoever eats.
Not whoever serves. Not whoever carries. Not whoever is on this week.
He is talking to a crowd with no function at all in that moment. They have not organized anything, they are not on a rota, and several of them are there because they were fed on a hillside the day before and want more, which is the least impressive reason anybody ever came to Him.
And the offer is made to them exactly as they are: eaters.
That is what you are and it is not a demotion. Right now, at fifty-one, in a week you are not on. That stands written, and His Spirit is the one who does the feeding, and He has never once checked a rota first.
Now let me be careful here, because this page could do harm and I have no intention of doing any.
Nothing on this page is a comment on how your church does anything, or how often, or on the shape of any of it. That belongs entirely to your church, it stays exactly where it is, and I am not putting a view about it in your head.
And nothing here says the serving is a substitute or that you should come off the rota. You should not, unless God says so and He has not said so on this page. Those weeks are real and people have been held by what you did in them, and Scripture honors every one of them and His Spirit was in the room.
The point is only that a person who can only receive while giving has one channel open, and Scripture describes an offer made to eaters. His Spirit is the one who has been making it in all the weeks you were not on.
Here is the tender part, and Scripture is gentle with it. You did not choose this either.
Nobody sits down at fifty-one and decides to be unable to receive. It happened because the serving weeks worked and the other weeks did not, and a capable woman puts herself where the food is. His Spirit is not disappointed in you, and He was at that kitchen table on the Tuesday when you found the word.
So here is the turn, and it happens on a week you are not on. His word offers the bread to eaters and His Spirit is the one who serves it.
Eat one piece of bread slowly, sitting down, on an ordinary day, with nobody to serve.
That is the whole of it. Not a decision to receive better on Sundays, which is a resolution and which will not survive the next rota. Not a step back from anything. One piece of bread, sitting down, on a week off.
You are able to be fed as a person today. Not one day when you learn how. His word offers the living bread to whoever eats, with no function in the sentence, and His Spirit is the one who serves it, and neither of them has ever needed you to be carrying anything at the time.
I am not going to tell you what the off weeks become or how quickly. That belongs to God and He works in His own way and in His own timing, and I will not put a promise in His mouth so this page can close warmly. What I can tell you is what is already yours, and what is already yours is an offer made to eaters.
Sit down on a week you are not on. His word puts Him at that table and His Spirit is already sitting there.
Declare this over yourself
Say these sitting down, out loud, on a week you are not on. Nothing here is a task and nothing here has to be earned; it is already yours in Christ, and it was true in every week you were not carrying anything. Scripture is what these lines stand on, His Spirit is the one who makes them live, and the outcome is His, answered in His own way and in His own timing.
- Weeks I am not on, you are not rest and you are not flatness, and I have been upgrading the word for you for years. In the name of Jesus I call you what you are, because I come to this often, and it does not need to be rare to be holy.
- Fusion of being useful and being fed, you have kept one channel open for two decades and there will be a week I cannot do. Scripture says whoever eats this bread will live, and whoever eats is not a role and it was said to a crowd who had organized nothing.
- Lord, You are the living bread and Your Spirit is the one who serves it, and You have never once checked a rota before feeding anybody. Tuesday is a day You are on, and I am sitting down at it with nobody to serve.
John 6:51
This message is free, and always will be. There is nothing to unlock, nothing to subscribe to, and nothing you owe for having received it.